Jose Cruz

Language and Literacy Narrative – Instructor Feedback Draft with Cover Letter

Even though I knew my LLN would get read by at least one person, I would say my intended audience was myself. I used language that I felt comfortable with writing and reading. It was just a way for me to get my thoughts out. The consequence being that it’s an easy read for my peers as well.

As someone who comes from an immigrant background, I really appreciated learning about forms of English separate from Standard English. Giving validity to how many talk in their day to day lives. Especially since in my youth I once found myself on the side of “that isn’t the correct way to say that.”

While I understand the need for Standard English as a way for universal communication among English speakers, particularly when precision is required, I think learning about non-Standard English also has value. Considering I already spent many many years learning the default in American schools, I am enjoying learning about something new.

And I want to say this is the first time I’ve written about my experiences with language.

Exigence has been the most impactful for me. I had previously only thought about purpose; what the author wants their text to do for the reader. But now I realize how much more there is to an argument. And it helps when breaking down and annotating a text.

Jose Cruz

Language and Literacy Narrative – Revised Draft

How often do you get a chance to listen to your voice? Do you know what you sound like? Do you know what people assume from the way you talk?

As someone who came to the US as a little kid, I was always distinctly aware of the differences between me and my peers (who were predominately white). I could see how immigrants from my country were discriminated against. Their accents, and the words they use, mocked. And I grew ashamed of where I originated from.

My mom didn’t know any English. And though she would eventually take classes and develop conversational level English. There she never would get rid of the accent. And I was ashamed. I didn’t want any of my peers to perceive how I was different. Even though it wasn’t hard just from looking at me.

I resented where I came from. And spent 4+ years in an ESL class just to “catch up” to my classmates. And of course I could never truly assimilate. The small group of hispanic minorities stuck together throughout middle/high school. Not because of where we were born but where our parents came from. There were varying levels of English proficiency among the group. Some really struggled. But then on the flip side. No one in the group knew more than the bare minimum level of Spanish. It’s as if our culture was erased and only partly filled by American culture. Whatever that may be.

I would eventually visit Mexico (where I was born). And it wasn’t really a surprise to see how far removed I was from where I came from. No one I spoke to was under any delusion that I was from Mexico. As soon as I said anything they clocked me as an American. Experiencing that and then coming back to the US and feeling like a foreigner just walking around my neighborhood.

So growing up I tried my best to blend in to the ideal English speaker. I cared about punctuation. I cared about grammar. As a youth I would even use complete sentences and include punctuation when texting friends and family. And of course no emojis for me. That wasn’t “proper.” All that misguided effort just to fit in where I would never fit in.

In high school a friend of mine introduced me to two friends from LA. And I didn’t even need their names to know they were chicanos. Hate to say it but you could tell from their voices. And conversely after getting to know them and befriending them they would eventually tell me that they had first thought I was white. And at the time I was a little proud that I had “blended in.” In a way it was affirming to know that I had somehow fooled them into believing I was American. And not just someone from somewhere else.

Only once I left high school did I realize the societal pressure that was forced onto me. And I grew to appreciate and respect the value my culture brings to this country. We all deserve respect no matter what language we use. Whether that be Standard English or something else.